I decided to start blogging to explore why I am not living life as deeply and fully as I would like to. I saw some girls skipping and laughing today, and I thought “Where did that girl go? I miss her!”

My husband’s affair a few years ago devastated me and caused me to question everything I thought I knew about him, myself, and my world. So now I am trying to look at the world with new eyes – to deconstruct my life with conscious intention and decide how I want to live my life moving forward.

“We tend to identify with and become attached to things we have, and to fear their loss, and this includes our knowledge and beliefs as well as relationships and physical things. That’s part of the survival game, but we do well to accept impermanence with equanimity and to retain an open mind, willing to review and evolve.”

I saw this somewhere recently. Wish I could remember where I saw it so I could attribute it appropriately. This is where I find myself today, trying to make sense of what has happened, opening my heart and mind to figure out where I go from here. In other words, to take advantage of the fact that my heart was broken completely open and to use the opportunity, as unwelcome as it was, to take stock of my life, to change what needs to be changed, and to live and love with all my might, with no regrets.

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4 responses »

  1. Wow – very deeply personal and vulnerable, yet filled with optimism and courage. I hope you are learning to sort through your life and are moving closer to your true self. I admire your courage very much. Thanks for stopping by my blog and for the follow! I’m returning the favor because I want to follow your journey 🙂

    • Thanks, Warsaw’s Secret Blog! Looking forward to following your blog – what I have read so far resonated deeply with me. I am making progress on my journey and am learning to be grateful for the “opportunities” life gives me to understand myself and others better and to experience life more deeply. I often forget, but I’m trying hard to be truly open to life and what it brings even if it is not what I would have chosen. I saw a quote recently by John O’Donoghue that I loved: “I would love to live as the river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding.”

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