Perspective on “Getting Over an Affair”

I read a blog post today that really made me think, so I wanted to share it here. It was written for people who have been involved in an affair, but as the betrayed spouse I found a lot of value in it too.

Here is the link to the post:

Getting Over The End of an Affair!

And here are the comments I made to the post:

This post was extremely powerful for me. It gave me a new perspective on my husband’s affair and helped me realize that the affair was more about his need to change and grow than it was about his affair partner being the “perfect” woman for him.

My husband described how he felt during the affair at one point by saying it was like a light switch got turned on when he got involved with his affair partner. That hurt immensely to hear and made me wonder whether he would have been happier with her than he has been with me over these last 30 years of marriage. While I have forgiven him for the affair, I still struggle with doubts about that which have prevented me from totally healing from his affair.

I try to support my husband in creating his best life, one in which he goes after his dreams and lives with passion and vitality. I hope and believe he can do that with me by his side. And I pray that one day his affair partner won’t occupy a place in his heart anymore, that the fantasy will truly be put to rest, and that I can feel like his Beloved again. That would be so wonderful.

I’d love to know your thoughts about the perspectives shared in the linked post!

Love and peace, Kali